Here’s what Inside Out 2 says about my mental health
There I was, a 40-something man, escaping my reality by retreating to the dark comfort of a movie theater to watch Pixar’s Inside Out 2, only to see my own life play out on the big screen. The protagonist may be a 13-year-old girl, but I strongly believe that with a bit of introspection we can all acknowledge that the inner workings of Riley’s mind mirror our own and provide valuable insights into our mental health.
If you haven’t seen Inside Out or Inside Out 2, first of all, move it to the top of your to-watch list. And second, here’s a bit of a synopsis. Inside Out takes place inside the mind of an 11-year-old girl named Riley, where her emotions—Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust—operate a control board that influences her reactions and decisions. These emotions guide Riley through her daily life, each taking turns to control the board based on different situations she faces. The film illustrates how these emotions work together, showing the complexity and importance of each one in shaping Riley’s experience. The writers then left us on a nine-year cliffhanger when a new, inactive button labeled “puberty” was added to the control board of Riley’s mind.
Inside Out 2 picks up two years later as Riley enters her teenage years and her emotional repertoire expands, introducing four nuanced emotions: Ennui, Embarrassment, Envy, and Anxiety. These new emotions provide a deeper scientific exploration into the complexities of human psychology as Riley navigates the intricacies of adolescence while attending hockey camp. The film integrates these emotions with the original emotions to examine the dynamic interplay of internal experiences as influenced by external changes, offering insightful reflections on emotional maturity and psychological development.
Anxiety is not just a character; it’s a reflection of my own fears—imposter syndrome, fear of failure, the constant analysis of what might go wrong. As you can tell, there is a lot more than what meets the eye with this—and any—Pixar animation. As I watched Riley’s emotions influencing her every move, I kept asking myself, did Brené Brown have something to do with this script? For those of you who don’t know already, I have been on a Brené Brown kick over the last two years—going from having never heard of her (how, I don’t know) to having consumed everything she has ever published. Her research and analogies have played a pivotal role in my emotional intelligence journey, specifically my imposter syndrome.
For someone who was adverse to speaking about feelings not too long ago, it is thanks to Brené that I find myself asking random questions like: what does mental health really mean? Sure, the Oxford Dictionary definition is ”the state of health of somebody’s mind,” but how do I know when my mental health is…well, healthy? Is there a way to quantify that status of my mental health? At a certain point in your life, you manage rather than cure our physical health concerns (does anyone else have a bad back?), so is it the same with mental health? Am I ever going to be mentally healthy or am I always going to need to strive for it?
I suppose I can recognize when I am not at my healthiest mentally—which has been the case for the last nine months or so. Full transparency (as you likely already inferred from the title of this article), my mental health has led me seriously considering some monumental career and life changes. You could say that Joy has not been at the control board for a while. Sadness, Anger, Fear, Embarrassment and Anxiety recently had me convinced that quitting a company that I’ve worked at for the last 14 years was the right answer to my problems. Hell, they even convinced me that leaving the country I’ve called home the last 20 years was the right answer.
I Told My Boss I’d Quit
My mental health and professional frustrations left me assessing my whole life. Once the idea was planned in my head to pursue a job in Saudi Arabia, it became the only clear answer to all my problems. It was as though I had pushed Joy to the back of my mind so I could clearly justify that quitting my job was the only logical situation. Anger reminded me of why I wanted to leave; Anxiety ran diagnostics to determine the threats of staying; and Sadness and Fear turned every experience of my current position into a negative one. In order to accept a new job in a new country, I had to rationalize that I’m not happy in my current situation—I had to justify the decision to leave everything. Because if I was happy where I am currently at, why would I want to leave? I had to give into my emotions and allow them to psych me up so I could lean into the decision harder.
I have been (current tense intentional) burnt out for the better part of a year, and my boss has had front-row seats. As I got deeper into the interview process for the Saudi job, I informed my boss that I may quit—and it felt incredibly cathartic. The significant job offer brought everything to a head, leading to a very candid discussion. The potential option of leaving somehow gave me the strength to have the long overdue, hard discussion with my boss and having the conversation helped me deescalate how I was feeling. Once I said it, my need to quit was reduced to nothing—only open communication remained. It underscored an essential truth: verbalizing our struggles can significantly diminish their power.
I must take this opportunity to recognize and applaud how my boss reacted throughout this whole situation—textbook, Ted-Lasso-level leadership. Before I even got to the point of considering quitting, when I came to my boss to let her know I was burnt out, I was immediately encouraged to take a couple months off to rest—I didn’t do this of course, but should have. When it was time for this conversation, my boss made herself available, showing up to the table in complete listening mode. Without this open space for me to express my frustrations, I likely would have followed through with my decision to go elsewhere for professional opportunity. Instead, the care that was shown during this meeting diffused my frustrations and ultimately, caused me to appreciate my current position that much more.
Decision Burnout
Suddenly, I understood—for the second time in my career—that the grass is not always greener. I didn’t realize the emotional rollercoaster I had been on while contemplating relocating my whole life. Finally, it was time to let Joy’s optimism back to the control board to reframe my thinking. It was time to choose to focus on what I have rather than chasing an elusive dream. This decision, once solidified, made my current situation more bearable and fulfilling. It was a mental reevaluation, powered by the realization of what I stood to lose versus what I might gain.
The act of considering a new job impacted my mental health more than I realized. Since last July, I have been feeling the effects of building burn out, but it took finally taking those two weeks off in January for me to realize just how poor my mental state was. When I returned, instead of investing my energy into making the necessary changes for me to feel better in my current situation, I looked elsewhere. Two weeks of vacation wasn’t enough to heal my burnout, but I thought pursuing another opportunity would be—and wow, was I ever wrong. I don’t think we talk enough about the toll investing energy into a possible opportunity takes on your mental health. It was like I had one foot out the door of my current position and one in the new one, not fully anywhere. The weight of these decisions can consume our lives for the period of time that we are considering them. It’s almost as though I’ve been distracting myself from my burnout the last few months instead of healing from it. Now that I’ve made my decision to stay, I am back to where I was in January mentally. So here’s my warning—be careful where you put your energy. I ask myself now, would I have been better off reevaluating my current job than visualizing myself in a new one?
That being said, I’m glad I went through the process—it gave me a new perspective, more open communication and honestly, peace. Maybe it’s a good thing to challenge your own status quo. By consciously questioning your decision to stay at a company, you can grow professionally even if you remain with the same employer. If you’re at the top, you can build another floor. By frequently reassessing your fit within your current company, you can ensure continuous growth and fulfillment.
What is mental health really?
Inside Out 2 is an incredibly accurate representation of what’s going on in my head. Anxiety defines me; I am Anxiety. I’m constantly planning scenarios of what could go wrong. Riley’s struggle with imposter syndrome specifically resonates deeply with me, especially when she starts skating faster as a result of Anxiety telling her she’s not good enough. Riley even wakes up before tryouts, consumed by Anxiety, for additional practice time. How many Saturdays have I gone to the office motivated by the fear of not being good enough if I don’t? There is a moment when Riley has a pretty significant (and so well portrayed) anxiety attack. I felt emotional watching her mutter to herself “get it together” and “I’m not good enough.”
While our minds may not be home to a collection of emotional characters exactly like in this movie, I try to remind myself that Joy, Sadness, Angry, Disgust, Fear, Embarrassment, Envy, Ennui and Anxiety are all speaking in my head. It’s up to me to decide which one to listen to and which one controls my actions. I try to remember that Joy has to work much harder than the others.
I suppose this is my long, Pixar-inspired way of saying I believe that mental, emotional health is a spectrum—from managing daily stresses to dealing with severe disruptions. We might never be free from mental health struggles, but we can learn to live better with them, making more informed, healthier choices for our emotional well-being. We can choose which emotions we let touch the control board, so to speak.
Mental health is a complex, ongoing process that isn’t as tangible as physical health. Unlike a visible cut that heals, mental health involves managing stress and emotions continuously. Like going to the gym for physical health, managing mental health is about regular maintenance, not just crisis management. Recovering from burnout, managing daily stresses, and making rational decisions amidst emotional turmoil are all part of the human experience. Inside Out 2doesn’t just depict a child’s inner workings; it reveals the ongoing inner dialogue of an adult grappling with life’s complexities, both professionally and personally.
How’s that for a movie recommendation?